1988 Yakima Medicine Dance

I experienced a series of relationship challenges that shook me to my core in 1988. As always, Spirit knows best when we’re ready to accept the next level of knowledge. A friend of mine invited me to a Medicine Dance on the Yakima Indian Reservation in Washington State.

While there, I received a vison that began to shape my inner transformation. The first night, after a sweat lodge, I was visited by Crazy Horse in my dreams. As I stood at the top of a hill, Crazy Horse descended to me on a large horse. The horse reared back on its hind legs and I heard “Go to where the saltwater meets the freshwater. There you will find your answer”. Suddenly, the light flashed on in the bedroom I was sitting in, and I was back in this reality. I was unsure where to find this location, and the dream added to my confusion.

Back in California

Driving down Highway 1 in California, I found myself in a tense situation with my partner at the time. The atmosphere in the car was thick. I could hear her talking, but visions and songs from the Medicine Dance distracted me. It was El Nino season, and in an instant, a huge gust of wind, and tumble weeds blew against the car, almost knocking it out of its lane. Looking down towards the beach, we saw a group of surfers, waiting for the giant swells to die down. Suddenly, I knew! This was "where the saltwater meets the freshwater”.

Startled, I shouted “Pull over!”. I got out of the car, determined to follow the instructions I was given in my dream. Part of me wanted to turn around and get back in the car, but my inner voice challenged me to move forward. At the top of the sand dune, a surfer yelled, “I wouldn’t go out there! If you get pulled out to sea, we are not going to rescue you!”. I didn’t care. I ignored their warnings, knowing I had to get the water, despite the danger.

As I got closer to the crashing waves, I noticed the dark clouds, lightning, and thunder above me. The wind violently whipped up the sand, stinging my skin. But inside, I thought to myself, this is the perfect ceremony! I’ve always loved the thunder. Something about that sound was a part of me. When everyone else would be cowered down inside, I’d be outside waiting for the next strike of lightning, and the earth-shaking thunder that followed.

Standing in front of the ocean, with my rattles, I began to sing songs from the Medicine Dance. I was singing to the ocean. It was hard to hear my own voice over the crashing of the waves, and the thunder. I felt like God wasn’t listening to pleas of my songs, so I started shouting the songs. I felt angry, like God was deliberately trying to suppress my songs to a muffle. I continued my shouting match with God and the Chaos around me. Eventually, feeling completely defeated, I stopped singing.

I reached into my pocket to find the silver dollar my grandfather had given me when I was young. My cold and sticky hand managed to pull the coin out of my pocket. It was from the same year my grandfather was born, and I carried it with me as a good luck charm. I took one last look at it, and chucked it into the ocean. I was done caring about others! I was fed up with life. I hated who I had become, and I blamed God for everything.

I shouted at the ocean, picking a fight with the pounding waves, the stinging sandy wind, the lightning and thunder. I didn’t care about living or dying at that moment. I screamed at the ocean, “who are my people?!” I shouted and cursed, at God, at myself. Facing the ocean, a strange feeling overcame me. A cold, electrical current climbed up my legs, reaching my stomach, and then my chest, numbing my body. I was paralyzed!

Fear and panic washed over me. Thinking I’d made God angry, I collapsed to my knees, in a moment of full surrender. Calm and loving energy started emanating from my heart, and I felt the anger and rage within me start to subside. I began to sob, and as I did, the sun broke through the clouds. With the sun shining on my face, penetrating my 3rd eye, I could feel the waves and wind calming. For the first time, I felt in sync with the creation around me. The chaos of the storm reflected the chaos inside of me. As I calmed down, so did my surroundings. The numbness in my body reduced to tingle. I was completely exhausted, but felt sure God had finally heard my cries for help.

As I started walking back up towards the road, I found a crowd of people standing on the beach. They all looked at me like I was a rockstar at a concert, who had just finished their final set. My partner was crying. She looked at me, and hugged me. Through tears, she said “They did that for you! They did that for you!” I replied “I don’t know what that was, I just want to go home”.

Everything changed after that day. I got clean and sober, I made multiple amends, I went back to ceremony, and I began my healing journey back to my heart. This experience and many others propelled me into a life I never expected to have, or believed was possible. I still visit that spot occasionally to give thanks and sing songs. Now, it doesn't matter if I hear my own voice, only that I sing and live from my heart.

The Awakening

The following year, I awakened to the Christ light after receiving a download that dissolved the mystery of life. It became clear that I was not only protected, but being groomed for pivotal challenges that lay ahead in my path.

Since then, I’ve been working in the healing arts field, and teaching energy healing classes. I’m blessed to be an interpreter of spirit consciousness, and a spiritual mentor, teacher, and guide.

In 2005, I moved from Santa Cruz to Mount Shasta in Northern California. There, I began to learn from the elders of the Karuk tribe, including Red Hawk Thom, and the respected Walking Eagle Jack Thom Senior. I was shown the mysteries of Mount Shasta, including Big Foot, the Pleiadians, the Little People, and the Fairies. My work expanded from healing arts, to taking small groups of people to sacred spots on the mountain to channel the Lemurians.

I help people on many different levels of awareness, to awaken their spiritual gifts through different modalities, to overcome any personal struggles in life. I’m blessed to regularly host sacred Lakota sweat lodges in the serenity of Northern California.